Friday, April 16, 2010

Where do we go from here?

I know it has been a while since I have blogged. This time of year is always busy. I remember last year, Trevor was battling a cold that turned into RSV. He was actually in the hospital for a few days. I remember sitting in the hospital room filled with so many feelings - so scared for my precious boy, so angry at our insurance for not covering the RSV vaccine, so glad that Dr. Corden was his doctor, so thankful for my mother for being there with us and so ready for summer vacation! Luckily Trevor's RSV cleared up rather quickly. We had to do nebulizer treatments, but they were nothing. Trevor loved to take the mouth piece and put it in is mouth!

I am very blessed to be a teacher and to have the summer off. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every minute of last summer. I spent the entire summer with Trevor. Did I spoil him? Yes. I didn't have him on a strict routine of naps, but he was such a easy going baby. I let him nap when he wanted to. I never imagined that not having him on a schedule would one day "kill" him. Which leads me to why I wanted to blog tonight. I simply don't get it. I can't wrap my brain around what happened to him.

I am not sure if it is because I am living it or because there is more abuse, but the more and more stories of abused children, especially babies, is terrifying. While some have been abused by parents or boyfriends or even girlfriends of parents, some like Trevor, have been abused at the hands of licensed daycare providers.

Daycare providers that were licensed by the state, had years of experience and recommended by parents. In most families, both parents have to work to make ends meet. Dominic and I don't live beyond our means, but we both have to work. I didn't want to leave Trevor with just anyone. I trusted Ms. Dobson, as I have said before, I had known her for over 20 years and she watched my cousin's child. I thought she was one of the best providers around. I loved that she was so close to my school. I would even brag about how nice it was to be so close, in case he were to have gotten sick. Ugh to even think about that now just makes my stomach turn.

Since I started Justice for Trevor on facebook, I have heard of at least 4 other children who were shaken by daycare providers. Again, people who were trusted by soooo many. So where do we go from here? I know these providers were fully trained, even on SBS. So what does it take to stop? More training? More monitoring by the state? Something needs to be done. This is happening to more and more children. Many of the children do "survive" but they have years of medical struggles to face. Do we need to educate parents on the signs of SBS? If I had known the signs of SBS on Monday, I may have been more apt to push for more answers that first day. I am not sure what needs to be done, but SOMETHING must be done.

There is NO EXCUSE for children to suffer at the hands of an adult. There is NO EXCUSE for what happened to Trevor. Trevor's death was 100% preventable by only one person. I do blame myself at times or ask myself what I could have done differently. But I know deep down, this was HER doing.

I am thankful for the time I had with Trevor, but so angry that it was such little time when it had the potential to be many many years.


  1. Kelly,

    I love that you have made this blog. I have shared it with as many people that I know. I work with so many mothers that have actually cried just hearing about Trevor. There is nothing greater than a mother's love. You and Dominic and Trevor are always in my thoughts, "our thoughts". It angers me and is beyond my comprehension how this woman could have done such a thing. And how many others has she abused, but no one knew, and no obvious signs. I wear my Justice for Trevor pin on my work jacket. And his smile just say's it all, how happy he was. How happy and fortunate to have two of the best parents ever.

  2. Kelly,
    You and Dominic and all parents of children who have suffered SBS or other forms of abuse are forced into a brutal and horrific reality. You all are extremely courageous and are taking the first steps to preventing this unimaginable crime- AWARENESS. The more people know and are educated then, I pray, the more they will shed the blinders of ignorance and naivety. Perhaps if people are more willing to keep SBS in the forefronts of their minds then they may be more apt to see the signs and able to identify them as such. Maybe they will realize that this crosses the lines of socioeconomic levels, race, gender, and age. It's time for a SOCIAL AWAKENING: It CAN happen to your family. Pretending that it doesn't exist because it's uncomfortable, unthinkable, heinous... doesn't change the fact that there are perpetrators out there shaking babies! It is proven!

    As far as the laws are concerned, changes need to occur and I will stand behind you, testify with you, picket with you, or whatever you decide is your calling in order to honor Trevor's life and your love for him. There are lots and lots of people out there ready to help you- whenever you're ready!!

    Love to you and your family!