Thursday, April 8, 2010


Tonight I was on my way home from graduate class and the songs were "speaking" to me. First came "Everything I do, I do it for you" by Bryan Adams. Yes the cheesy song from Robin Hood many years ago. But the last part of the song -
"Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you"

These words were and are so very true. I fought for Trevor every step of the way from pregnancy to birth to death and after. There is nothing I wouldn't do for that precious child. It is so unfair- there are parents who don't put their children first, and yet they are still parents. One of many "unfair" parts of life.

Then I switched radio stations and the song "No Place that Far" by Sarah Evans came on. Again..this one gets me every time.
"If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I would find a way, to get to where you are,
There's no place that far"

I feel that this speaks true in my fight for Justice.
So then...I decide I have had enough with the radio and put my ipod on shuffle and what should come on? "Somewhere over the Rainbow" the version we played at Trevor's Memorial Service. Let's just say I drove home sobbing.

Then as I pulled into the development the song "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson came on.
"All that I know is I'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now".

Those words - so simple - so true. All I can do is keep breathing - thank goodness it is involuntary because there are moments when I don't know how I am breathing. Moments where my heart aches and my chest feels like a 100 pound weight is on it. But somehow, I keep breathing.

So I wonder who was trying to speak to me through songs tonight. Trevor? My grandfather? Michele? Or is it all a coincidence?

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