Sunday, November 13, 2011

Truly A Miracle

I have always said that Trevor was my miracle baby - I now have proof!

This past January, after sentecing was over, Dominic and I decided it was time to start a new chapter in our lives.  Like any good book, the chapters build upon each other, we would never forget Trevor nor intend to replace him, but simply add to our family.

We started trying again in February.  In April I had a miscarriage, followed by another in May.  It is hard for me to explain how hard those losses were.  It seemed like everywhere I looked I saw pregnant women or people announcing that they were pregnant. After two losses I wasn't sure I even wanted to try again.  So we waited 3 months and started trying again.  After two more "negative" months, decided to take matters into my own hands.

I am now 32 years old and when I was 10, I underwent 6 months of chemotherapy that could have possible "aged" my ovaries making me hit menopause as early as 35.  I could hear the biological clock ticking away.  I spoke with my oncologist at Johns Hopkins in September about my concerns.  She set me up with Reproductive Endocrinologist there at Hopkins.

After blood work and a hsg scan, we have found out two things that have affected my infertility.  1.  I have a hypothyroid and 2.  I have a septate uterus, meaning my uterus is not a nice triangular shape, but almost a y shape.  This y shape is what I was born with, it not only explains my miscarriages, but the placenta previa I had with Trevor.

When I had the scan I heard the doctor whisper to the nurse "I am surprised she had a successful pregnancy at all".  Tears filled my eyes - I know I was blessed.  His early arrival, his beautiful smile and spirit, I was blessed to be his momma.  Trevor was truly a miracle baby.  I believe that there is a bigger picture, I bigger reason for the nightmare we have been living.  I may not know all this ins and outs, but I do know that my body shouldn't have been able to successfully carry a baby but it did.  Trevor was indeed my miracle baby.

Getting the news about my uterus was a little scary at first but not only do I know the cause, but I now know that it is fixable!  I go in for surgery December 2nd.  Dominic and I still have hope.  Hope to one day have the family we have longed to one day have.

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

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