Monday, February 8, 2010
This weekend Dominic and I were faced with A LOT of snow, no electricity and stuck in our house with so many memories of Trevor. I sat here and wondered what we would have done with no electric and no way to get out if Trevor were still here. That of course started us on a path of tears and "what should have beens". Everything we discussed seemed to go back to Trevor. A simple conversation about the dining room table led to "what if we move?" to "what to do with Trevor's room". It seemed like no matter what we did, we were always reminded of Trevor and "what should be".
I know I go on and on about missing him, I just never thought my life would be so empty with out him. Yes I still have family and friends that keep me going but my "life" was Trevor. Every time he smiled at me and his big blue eyes sparkled my life would feel complete and I felt so blessed to be his mom.
I have been trying to focus on some positives- being stuck in a house with no electric will do that to you! Hence the title of this blog. Eleven weeks. Eleven weeks until we go to trial. If I can get through what I have been though the past 5 months, then I certainly can get through 11 weeks.