Tuesday, March 2, 2010

6 months

My Dear Sweet Trevor,

It was 6 months ago when we said good-bye. There are days when it seems like only yesterday and days where it seems so far away. September 3rd still gives me chills, a day that changed my life forever.

I listened to the doctors tell me there was nothing more they could do for you.

I made the hardest decision of my life.

I curled up in the hospital bed and snuggled with you for the last time.

I watched family and friends cry and say good-bye.

I held your cold little hand and prayed for you.

I begged God to take me instead.

I begged God to take me with you.

I cried and cried and cried.

I held you and sang to you as the machines were turned off and you grew your wings.

I will never understand what happened to you and more importantly why. You were a happy, beautiful, perfect baby. You were defenseless and you had no voice. An adult who knew better and who I trusted with you, the most important person in my life, took advantage of your innocence. I thank God everyday that Chastity became your voice. I am thankful for the modern medicine that too became your voice. I am thankful for your Aunt Kelly and Aunt Kerry that give me the strength to be your voice. I promise you that I will not stop being your voice, even after justice is served. There isn’t a day that I don’t miss you or think of you. There are times when I feel you with me. And times when I feel so empty and I long to see your face and hold you again. I love you my perfect angel.



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